F'n Luke

I haven’t been motivated to do anything lately.

Last night, D’s softball team ended their game in a tie. It was fun to watch and everybody loved the dog. The dog had tons of fun as well. The game was delayed because of rain so when we got there everyone was wet. So that was fun. But things took an interesting turn towards the end of the game.

You see, we’ve been doing this fitness challenge in which we have to drink a lot of water. My beautiful partner isn’t very skilled in, how can I put this delicately, holding in her pee. Suffice to say, when she has to go – she has to go. So she approaches me and tells me that she has to pee. I walk with her to some structure in the park that we were in to see if there was a bathroom and if it was still unlocked. You never know when you’re in a park after dark.

Also, parks after dark are not the most chill places to be strolling about. So I made sure to go with her. We walked around the large structure and found doors at both ends. In the middle, there was a trio of water fountains. D went to check the doors while I filmed the water fountains because I’m weird like that. For some reason, whether it was kids playing a prank or just poor assembly, all three water fountains were running. This was one of those park water fountains in which all three bins and spouts protruded from each other on different levels for different sized humans. Here is an image for reference.

The wild part about this image is that I was scrolling through an image search and I finally found this fountain that looks incredibly like the one we saw last night. The image led to an article about a “giant pond” that was finally fixed in a different Chicago park not too far from us at the time. So it appears we stumbled upon a new pond in development.

Anyway, all three bins were filled and overflowing and there was a manhole nearby. I like to find the beauty in such things. Like a dumpster covered in graffiti. I’m weird like that I suppose. But this story isn’t about a dumpster or even a water fountain.

As I stood there filming the water fountains, D came back up to me. She had checked both doors and they were locked. We walked back to the field and one of her teammates said she thought there might’ve been a port-a-potty on the other side of the park. The dark and gloomy side. You know, oppose to the wet and slippery side we were on.

So we ventured in that direction. D, the dog and I walked around this little path and went through the park in a circle. I was making sure we stuck to one side because there were people on the other side sitting in the dark doing who knows what. We walked toward the end of the park and there was no john. We could kind of see the other end of the park, where the people were, but D wanted to be sure. So she started walking down this darker path in-between a public pool and the edge of the park. I quickly caught up to her and told her to stay by my side. She doesn’t always have the best street smarts, especially when she’s in a hurry. We get to the edge of the darkened pathway and we both can see there is no john in this park at all. I look back at her and she’s hopping on her feet, seemingly ready to burst. She says to me “I have to go!” I look around. We are at the edge of the park, behind a structure, around the corner there are two people sitting at a table doing what people do in parks after dark. Behind us is the fence to the park with a street beyond it. Not an empty street either. No cars were driving by but plenty were parked…in front of homes. But it looked quiet enough. The people at the table couldn’t see us, didn’t see a lot of action on the street. I turned back to her and said,

“Then go!” She pulled her softball pants down and squatted in one motion. I turned away and sort of moved in front of D to try to block her as I heard a XXL Super Soaker 9000 unleash it’s tank onto the concrete. The rate at which urine left my partner’s body was extraordinary. The splash back on that cold wet night was superfluous. I immediately took a step back to make sure my calves would remain piss-free. The whole thing took maybe 4 seconds but it was loud and large. She went to stand up and asked me mid-pants pull if I had any napkins on me. I slowly shook my head as she finished pulling her pants up. Everything happened so fast, I’m entirely sure if this was related or not, but the people on the table started making some noises of their own at the same time. They started stirring around a bit. So I grabbed D by hand and quickly got us on our way. She told me that we should wait to come back so no one suspects anything.

As soon as we went to leave, we hear a cop car off in the distance. We look over and about a block away, the lights are swirling above a police SUV. It was so far away that it was obviously unrelated, but D immediately got nervous. When D panics, she stops listening, responding, etc. She starts walking quickly back towards the softball field. I try to keep up with her, asking her questions that keep getting ignored. I finally catch up and ask her to stop for a second. We made it back to the water fountains and wait there for a minute. We watch as the shady figures from the park table leave the park as the cop car rolls by. D lets out a sigh of relief. “I thought that was for me.”

“Why, on earth, would that be for you?” I asked. We chuckled and wait a few more seconds. The plan was to tell her teammates that there was no john and she just held it for now. After she did a quick spin so I could verify there was no visible piss on her, we headed back. No one questioned anything and I watched her team almost win, but settle for a tie (a favorable outcome).

Afterward, because I took a cheat day, we went to Portillos and I got me a burger, fries, and a shake. I ate all that shit. It’s been a while since I had that many carbs and that much sugar. We went home and I enjoyed most of it. The dog had a good amount of the fries.

We went to bed after D had a quick shower. This was not the first time D had peed herself. In fact, she peed on herself a little bit earlier that day. This probably won’t be the last time I write about her peeing on herself. That is just the way life goes sometimes. I suppose.

I finally got the email that I was expecting. It would either say I got the part or I didn’t. I didn’t get the part. The email came over 24 hours after a buddy of mine said they got their email – except his was good news. So now I’m 0 for 2 on auditions. I feel so exposed yet unseen at the same time.

The first audition was for the same show, just a different run. I was not very confident. I was actually very nervous and didn’t think I did that well. I wasn’t very surprised that I didn’t get it. This time though, I killed it in there. I made the whole room laugh, even the person that was stonewalling everybody. I did two scenes and both times the room erupted in laughter. It felt good. But I didn’t make the cut. I’m questioning whether I want to do auditions again. The shit hurt.

Anyway…

Some friends and I got the latest 2k game for PC even though the PC version of these games are historically bad. In fact, when this latest one came out, it was the first time I ever saw reviews on Steam that were “Overwhelmingly Negative”.

But it was on sale so we each grabbed a copy to play with each other. We figured we could avoid the hackers and bugs this way. We decided to start our own league and have a fantasy draft tonight. Now the way this friend group operates, who knows if it will last long or even it will actually happen? I’m still looking forward to it either way.

On a different note but same song, D is playing one of her last softball games tonight. She joined one of those adult leagues a month or so ago. I haven’t been to a game yet (mostly by her request), but tonight I’m taking the dog down to see her play.

Because I’m a freak who always thinks ahead, turns out I had a copy of the posts I made on the blog before I had to wipe site clean. It wasn’t very much content but still. I was able to reupload them so that’s cool – I guess.

Other than that, the site seems to be running okay for now. I’ll do some more checks soon when I feel like developing it out. Might just let it look like a mess for a while. Need to distance myself from that terrible customer service experience. Three live chat agents turned into a 36 email thread spread out over three days all for me to just give up. I guess they won.

Had a few decent meetings today. My therapist tried to drop a few bombs as well. It got a little emotional. I probably won’t write about it until I’ve completely digested the information though.

Until next time, bitches.

Hello?!?! Is this thing working? I’ll take that as a yes.

Well…the blog is being restarted. Completely wiped. All previous entries are gonezo. Kaput. Long story short, hosting provider support ain’t shit. Not just my hosting provider either. All hosting provider support I’ve ran into seems to purposely not help you in your situation. I think it’s more profitable for them.

I think that the majority of their customers are people who have a great idea for a website, or need one for their business, so they throw money at a web host and then get confused because they don’t know what they’re doing. They try support, get confused more, and then come running to a developer (like me 🙃) for help.

So…what was the problem with the website?

Who fuckin’ knows? I had my theories, but every time I brought that up to support they were ignored. In fact, every time I brought up they my theories were being ignored – they ignored that too! FUN! It was a permissions issue though. My site stopped working at some point. Since support refused to help me, I figured I’d start over and see if the problem reproduces itself.

Ugh, what a shame. Either way, the site is back up now, but we’re sticking with the default theme for now. I think I’ll create my own this time. You see, the problem with the site didn’t arise until after I found a random theme online and started messing around with it. I didn’t notice anything was wrong until I tried to use my own files. For now, everything appears to be working (just like it did last time). So…onward I suppose.

I have a ‘Hello World’ to delete. PEACE!

Met with some friends to get some Indian fusion tacos. I honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with fusion restaurants. I’m not a foodie by any means, but I think fusion food is inevitable. The problem people have with fusion is either the hipster connotation or the fact that not everything should be fused.

Besides that, I got to hang with some good friends. I didn’t drink because D and I are doing 75 Hard (28 days left!), but that’s okay. I feel like I’ve done so much partying in my life that I’m now at a point where I can enjoy sobriety. What a weird sentence, I know.

Tomorrow, I have to make a flow chart…

Life is a weird journey. It takes you places. Sometimes it takes you to a random coffee shop where you sit at a wobbly table and drink an iced chai that you bought out of pity.

How is it, you ask? It’s not bad, a little heavy on the cinnamon, but that’s not surprising at this point. But enough of your questions, back to the task at hand. I have something to talk about. What I want to talk about is my work. What do you do? Ugh, hate that question. I make shit. Does that work? No? Fine, I make shit with computers. That’s the best you’re going to get.

The problem with my work is that there is so much of it. I’m doing nothing but work. I take on so much that it’s all I do. The worst part is that I think I love it. So here I am, chugging extra cinnamon, and wobbling away at my laptop.

My therapist thinks I’m too preoccupied with what I don’t want in life instead of what I do want. That made me realize two things. 1) I should be more meaningful in my decisions and 2) I should find a new therapist.